Dating sucks. Don’t conclude this opening statement is from a bitter cynical decrepit spinster. I am one of the most romantic folks ever-- I can dream, plan, and execute a fantastic “any occasion” dinner to woo the stoniest heart. In fact it is my utter devotion to the romantic that compels me to remind all—dating sucks!! We (I am very much in this statement) want the ooey-gooey goodness of a plumb juicy ripe intimate relationship. We want all those tender succulent words of love and fidelity slipping over lips. Who among us reading here would deny the desire for confident careful caresses that lead to hours of unbridled passion? Well, the way to get there is a long often slow and more often tedious journey on a well worn path—the dating road. Few want to travel this route, it is no super highway, and it’s poorly maintained, but if you want to get the relationship then you’ve got to do the work.
Think of it this way, if you enjoy mashed potatoes which taste better traditional or instant? Sure some will swear there is no difference and the instant are totally delicious. But really?! How many would settle for the instant if served them at Spago or some other five-star restaurant—precious few. We want, I want the real thing, potatoes peeled, cut, boiled, mashed and seasoned to perfection with real butter. Sure, this presents risks— a bit of peel still on, the size may be off, lumpy, cold, raw, or even too salty. Anything worth having is worth working for. You must take some risks and get out there roll up your sleeves and make contact.
The first thoughts rush to fear, even terror. Who wants to do the emotional equivalent of being all alone out on a ledge? Who likes standing naked in the middle of a busy street? Truly, no one. That’s it no one wants to be that vulnerable. The unfortunate truth is that someone has to make the first move. Someone has to be willing to put their toe out on the ledge, someone has to stand in the middle of traffic and drop trou. How else do you propose getting to know the dimensions of a vast list of alleged “non-negotiables” that all important boundary limit. Dating is the testing ground; it is perfectly acceptable, and very much encouraged to have some “flops.” Dating is the space in which we get to explore what we think we know and what we want to know about ourselves. During my first job working in a professional kitchen I cut carrots for two days. When it was over I had orange fingers and hated even the word carrot. Good news for me, I could pick out of the store the perfect shape and sized carrot to create the perfect tourneed carrot, and I could cut one in about two minutes. This means less time spent on the not so fun part and more time spent enjoying the dish. Dating is designed to save time, effort, and energy in the long run—and it does.
Learn to savor the goodness of a traditional dish made by hand. Yes, dating sucks, but to realize the overall benefit get out there and do the work.
